'Everywhere I go it’s the same b*******:’ Andy Carroll’s fed up with crock jokes

Andy Carroll has heard all the jokes and jibes before. The ‘comedians’ out there say he is so injury prone he could probably sideline himself slurping soup. Others have told West Ham’s fit-again forward — to his face — to be careful tackling staircases.

So it is understandable he has something to get off his chest after being targeted and ridiculed for reasons that, really, are no fault of his.

‘I honestly don’t know what I’ve done in my life to get the s*** I get,’ says Carroll, shaking his head. ‘It’s unbelievable. I get some stick for everything I do. It’s annoying.

'It’s stupid things, like I went to Lapland UK. I’m standing there with the kids. Someone skates over, “Lovely to meet you... don’t be getting on the ice, I don’t want you falling over and getting injured”. Everywhere I go it’s the same b*******.'

Carroll is at the Richard House Children’s Hospice in east London. He is here to spread a little Christmas cheer — and does not need asking twice to jump in the ball pit, where he has enormous fun playing with the kids and having balls thrown at him. Speaking to Sportsmail later, the 29-year-old opens up on his injury-plagued career, which he admits has hurt him as much mentally as physically.

Carroll’s latest lay-off lasted four months. He returned for pre-season in July but a scan revealed that the screws in his ankle were loose. Surgery was required, again.

‘A lot of people just think, “Oh, Andy’s injured again? He’s all right, he’s on holiday,” or whatever,’ said Carroll, who made his first appearance of the season against Cardiff 10 days ago.

‘But it’s hard. It’s hard graft. You’re going home angry, upset, having a go at the missus for nothing, having a go at everyone. You’re just upset. It’s hard to be by yourself.

‘It was very tough. You can see the lads playing outside. You’re in the gym and all you want to do is get outside. I’m down. Down in the dumps I’m not out there.’

After the exits of Slaven Bilic and David Moyes, the Manuel Pellegrini era is beginning to take shape. West Ham have secured three successive Premier League wins and can make it four on Saturday against Fulham.

When the subject of his contract comes up, Carroll lets out a wry smile. He knew it was coming.

‘I’d like to stay,’ says Carroll, whose current £90,000-a-week deal expires at the end of this season. ‘I’ve got a two-year option, it’s the club’s option. I’ve been injured, so it’s not one of those where I can just pick up the phone and say, “Give me a two-year deal”. I’ve got to prove it. That’s what I need to do.

‘Last season was up and down. We had Stuart Pearce doing sessions, then David Moyes was doing sessions. It didn’t really feel right, it didn’t work. The lads weren’t happy.’

At home, Carroll doesn’t watch football. Match of the Day is never on the box, but he hopes to be back on it soon.

How much he features is both down to him and his new manager, who he is still getting to know. ‘He (Pellegrini) is a nice fella, a gentleman,’ he says. ‘He conducts himself well. He’s ruthless. Bang, you’ve done well, but then he won’t play you the next game. You’ve got to respect him. He’ll tell us how it is, and that’s it. His door is always open.’

The England international is not yet fit enough to start under Pellegrini so may need to make do with a role as a substitute for the time being.

‘For now,’ he interrupts when that idea is put to him. ‘It’s all about working hard and showing the gaffer I can play. I’ve been out a long time. The gaffer knows I’m not fully fit, I know I’m not fully fit. I’d say I’m about 75 per cent.’

Carroll is approaching the two-year anniversary of his famous scissor-kick goal against Crystal Palace, though he is as sick of discussing it as his injury issues. Laughing, he says: ‘It’s like the only thing I’ve ever done!’

Before ducking under the door frame to leave, Carroll insists he still has plenty to offer West Ham.He knows there is only one way to get rid of his ‘crocked Carroll’ reputation. ‘I need to get fit, get back in the starting line-up and prove I deserve it,’ he says.

‘I can sit here and talk about new deals, but it ain’t going to change anything until I get on that pitch and do what I do.’