Former Liverpool keeper Kirkland opens up on battle with painkiller addiction

Chris Kirkland has revealed that he nearly committed suicide as he struggled during a decade-long addiction to painkillers.

The former Liverpool and England goalkeeper battled the addiction after suffering with back problems during his career, with depression eventually kicking in.

As reported by the Times, Kirkland has opened up on the moment that he stood on the edge of the roof of Bury's pre-season base in Portugal back on July 4, 2016.

His addiction had caused him to suffer hallucinations, hyperventilate and deepened his anxiety - and he was just a step away from taking his life.

Kirkland though said it was the thought of his wife Leeona, and 15-year-old daughter Lucy, who stopped him.

He said: 'I was going to jump but I felt (Kirkland's wife) Leeona and (daughter) Lucy pulling me back from afar.'

Kirkland though continued to battle with the addiction over the coming years, and has opened up on his struggles following an incident earlier this year which he described as the most 'horrendous experience' in his life.

In his interview with the Times, he has also stated that his problem his struggles are widespread in football.

It was a month after his incident while at Bury, he released a statement saying he needed 'time and space' away from the game, and has not played a match since.

The problems continued until February this year, when the 41-year-old said he ordered some painkillers off the internet from India, didn't know what was in them, and within two minutes of taking them he didn't know who he was.

He said: 'It was the most horrendous experience I've ever had in my life. I was violently ill, went to bed and next morning I went out to the car and tipped them all down the drain.

'I thought 'you've got to get off these or you're going to kill yourself'.

'It wasn't until a couple of weeks afterwards that I broke down to Leeona and told her. I don't know how she put up with it. I wouldn't be here without her.'

Kirkland attended the Parkland Place rehabilitation centre in Wales where he did the detox in which he described as the 'worst week' of his life, and how his wife Leeona stopped him from the temptation of taking tablets.

The goalkeeper struggled with back problems ever since a training session at Liverpool, with an innocuous leapfrog routine where a team-mate jumped over him.

It was around the 2009-10 season at Wigan where he started suffering painful back spasms, and by his second season at Sheffield Wednesday in 2013, he said he was taking painkillers every day.

Kirkland was taking 2,500 milligrams of Tramadol a day when at Sheffield Wednesday, way above the recommended dose of 400 milligrams a day.

The retired goalkeeper said that other players have contacted him admitting they are on painkillers.

He also suggested that players get in-house testing, as like Kirkland, they could get painkillers outside the club.

He said: 'There will still be players that won't come out and say anything because they might be scared of the repercussions. There are players that are on appearance bonuses, and if they don't play they don't get paid — not so much at the top level but League One, League Two. People have mortgages to pay.

'When this story comes out hopefully football clubs will take notice and the PFA put things in place. Listen, this is the tough bit.

'The PFA get battered for certain things and there are things they should do a lot better. There is not enough staff for the level of support needed for current players and ex-players.

'But it's the clubs that see these players every day. For me, painkillers should be just completely stripped away at clubs. Is it realistic? If not then there needs to be measures in place that if someone's asking for them regularly, that's when clubs have to say 'have you got a problem?'

'There are brilliant doctors at clubs. But remember, I got them outside the club. They have to look at what a player is doing outside the club. Maybe they do need to get tested in clubs.'