Jose Mourinho being overcome by modesty. Harry Kane missing in front of goal. Arne Slot getting the credit he deserves at Liverpool. Roy Keane saying something nice about Michael Carrick. Chelsea buying a player over the age of 30.
Every single one of them may seem so far-fetched as to be utterly laughable but, trust me, at half-time of Tottenham’s game against Manchester City, none of them seemed as absurd as the notion that Spurs might rescue something from a game that had turned into an embarrassment for them.
When the half-time whistle went, the boos rained down on the Spurs players as they trudged towards the tunnel. Two goals down, with the promise of more to come, they were heading into the eye of an humiliation. They were steeling themselves for the lampoons that were surely coming their way.
Thomas Frank looked like a man besieged. His team was being totally outclassed by Manchester City. They were being embarrassed. The spectre of relegation seemed to going clearer and larger. The general expectation was that the second half would get ugly for both manager and players.
Then an astonishing thing happened. Frank, who is struggling to make Spurs fans believe in him, made a change at half-time. He switched Spurs’ formation to a back-four, took off Cristian Romero and brought on Pape Matar Sarr. And everything changed. Spurs were a team possessed. City wilted.
Dominic Solanke got one back. Then he scored again with a fantasy goal, a Scorpion kick that looped over Gianluigi Donnarumma. It was a ‘football, bloody hell’ moment. Xavi Simons played like Superman. So did Archie Gray. It was a breathless, wonderful game.
Spurs could not quite get a third although they did come mighty close. But this will still go down as one of the season’s great comebacks. Sure, Chelsea pulled one off on Saturday night, coming from two down to beat West Ham, and Spurs could not turn this one into a win.
But this felt like the more improbable comeback of the two. Because Spurs are not as good as Chelsea. And Manchester City are a lot better than West Ham. Even amid their joy, the Spurs fans in their steepling new stadium were gripped by a sense of wonder at what was unfolding in front of them.
The bigger picture is that the result completed an excellent day for Arsenal. Aston Villa lost to Brentford earlier in the afternoon and City surrendered a two-goal lead to fall to another draw. City have now won only once in their last six Premier League matches. Arsenal are six points clear of them at the top of the table, and eight points clear of Villa.
There were early signs that Spurs were going to struggle to contain City’s attack. Only two minutes had gone when Haaland was allowed space to turn just inside his own half and set Antoine Semenyo free on the left. Semenyo’s shot was saved, at the second attempt, by Vicario.
Those concerns for Spurs were confirmed after 10 minutes. Yves Bissouma dawdled on the ball in the centre circle and was dispossessed by Bernardo Silva. The ball was moved to Rayan Cherki who ran at Radu Dragusin and drove a shot past him and past the flat-footed Vicario.
On the touchline, Frank turned away in disgust and hurled a water bottle to the floor. A few minutes later, City should have doubled their lead. Haaland ran on to a long ball from Rodri, out-muscled Dragusin and tried to lob Vicario. His effort landed on the top of the net. Spurs fans voiced the first mumbles of discontent.
The game was so one-sided it was faintly embarrassing. Midway through the half, Cherki sprinted clear on the half-way line and advanced on goal. He slalomed past a couple of hapless challenges, sat Dragusin down on his backside with a feint and then curled his shot towards the far post. A brilliant finger-tip save from Vicario diverted the ball just wide.
Spurs were paralysed by caution when they attempted to venture forwards. They seemed in constant fear of risk and the roar of dismay that a misplaced pass or a failed dribble might bring forth. Instead, it was their sideways passes that provoked anger in the home support.
The inevitable corollary of that caution was that City should add to their lead. It duly happened on the stroke of half-time. To the surprise of no one, Spurs were, once more, authors of their own downfall.
Dragusin hoofed a ball out of defence to no one in particular. Unfortunately for him, it landed at the feet of Rodri. Rodri played in to Bernardo Silva, he slid it to Semenyo and Semenyo, with time to pick his spot, lifted the ball past Vicario. The Ghana forward failed to land his celebratory backflip.
Gymnastics moves were more difficult than playing football against this Spurs side in the first half.
Frank made that change at half-time. He brought Pape Matar Sarr on for Cristian Romero and switched to a back four. Five minutes into the second half, Spurs confounded expectations by nearly scoring.
Xavi Simons, their best player, played a neat pass to Destiny Udogie and Udogie hit the ball sweetly. His drive was rising towards the roof of the net when Gianluigi Donnarumma produced a brilliant save to tip it over.
Three minutes later, to a general air of astonishment, Spurs went one better. Solanke forced his way in front of Abdukodir Khusanov to get on to a ball from Simons and as the ball bounced, Marc Guehi tried to tackle Solanke.
Guehi got his foot to the ball, Solanke tried to kick through the ball but connected with Guehi’s leg and some of the ball instead. The ball squirted past a bemused Donnarumma. Spurs were fortunate the goal was allowed to stand. But fortune has been in short supply here. Few begrudged them a little of it.
It was an improbable revival but now it gathered pace. Conor Gallagher broke a tackle and burst down the right flank. His cross was just behind Solanke but the striker improvised superbly and diverted the ball goalwards with something approaching a Scorpion kick.
The ball looped into the air and sailed in a lazy arc past Donnarumma’s flailing right hand and into the net. It was a wonderful moment of open-mouthed amazement. When the goal was replayed on the giant screens in the stadium, there were gasps of excitement as the full extent of what they had just witnessed became evident.
The game turned into a classic. Spurs pressed for a third. Donnarumma made a stunning save from a Simons shot that was arrowing its way into the top corner. City hit back. A goalmouth melee of prone bodies and swinging boots ended with Haaland scooping an effort over the bar from a few yards out.