Gary Speed's wife has found a letter suggesting the troubled football icon struggled with mental health problems since he was 17.
Louise Speed, 48, said 'nobody seen it coming' when she found the father-of-two dead in their Chesire garage after hanging himself in 2011.
But she's now stumbled on a handwritten note he sent her when he was a teenager playing for Leeds United.
In it the Welshman said: 'I'm so depressed. I'm just going to go to sleep now and hope I never wake up. I love you so much.'
Gary had written the letter to Louise when the pair were dating as teenagers.
His widow found the note while helping Gary's journalist friend John Richardson write new book Gary Speed Unspoken: The Family's Untold Story.
She has no recollection of receiving the letter, but said it's the lightbulb moment that confirms the ex-Welsh manager was battling with depression from a young age.
zazeklnot
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He made his mind up, didnt want to be here any more. Great player in his day , oviously had more problems than you and me !
typhoonv
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What a tragedy. Lovely guy, talented footballer, great coach and manager, so sad and so sorry for his family and friends.
reasonlife
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Depression really is awful and it causes so much suffering everyday for those personally effected by this illness and their family... Its a constant battle and unfortunately sometimes people lose their fight.. Rest in peace Gary...
Adrianer
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Very sad. Much more help needed for people going through this.
Julylove
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He always came across as a very humble & polite man. Such a a shame. God bless.
tantrum
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Bless him! Too many struggle and don't seek help!
Jabonero
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Loved Gary Speed.....seemed a lovely genuine guy!
nikanni
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Poor man. Suffering for all that time. His wife must have been a real support to him during their time together.
Fordroad
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Heartbreaking that he suffered in silence all those years