Dean Windass fears his children will make the same mistakes he did before his father died - with the former Hull City legend revealing he has fallen out with them so badly that he does not even know where son Josh lives.
In an appearance on Daily Mail Sport podcast Whistleblowers, the ex-footballer - who has been vocal about his previous struggles with substance abuse and suicidal thoughts - detailed the row he had with his father five months before he was killed by a heart attack.
Windass, who suffers from dementia, last month shared a public birthday message to Wrexham star Josh begging him to 'get in touch' and admitted that it was hard not speaking to either of his sons.
'It breaks my heart,' Windass told podcast co-hosts Mark Clattenburg and Gordon Smart. 'I've said that to them, I've texted them. It's just fallen on deaf ears.
'Because I had an argument with my old man, and for five months, I never spoke to him. And for 41 years of my life, he was my best mate. I had a row - don't want to go into it, it was personal - with my kids, and he died in those five months. And it f***ed me up.
'And I blamed myself, and that's when I didn't want to hear from anybody, I didn't want to speak to anybody, I was drinking, trying to commit suicide, all that s***, which is f***ing stupid, looking back now. And yeah, some days, they give you wake-up calls. I went to Sporting Chance (a therapy service for sportspeople) for 26 years, and it was the best 26 years of my life, the rest is history.'
He continued: 'I thought my dad dying was my fault. And it wasn't, he had a heart attack out of the blue, but I'm thinking, "if I'd have knocked on his door..." and that's why I don't want my kids to make the same mistake.'
Revealing that he was trying to reach out to them, he added: 'I text them every day. And I watched Josh last night, at Wrexham, (he's a) good player, married with a kid - I ain't seen my grandchild for a year.
'It's a tough thing, and people will say, "why are you mentioning it?" - but I want to mention it. Because I don't want my kids to make the same mistakes that I made. It's my responsibility as a parent, and I thought it was my dad's responsibility as a parent.
'But when the s*** hit the fan... I was working for Soccer Saturday and this is how stupid it was, I should have done it. I was living in Leeds, and I was driving (to work), I was a little bit early, and I thought, "f*** it, I'll just pop in at my dad's."
'I've not spoken to him for five months. And if I'd have knocked on his door, he'd have f***ing punched me in the face, or whatever, and gone "come in, give us a kiss", we'd have had a cry, and it would be all done with. But my attitude was, "why should I knock on his f***ing door, he's the dad."
'And now the roles are reversed with me. I want to knock on Josh's door. I don't even know where he f***ing lives, that's how bad it is, he's in Chester somewhere, or Cheshire, I don't know. And now my youngest son has decided not to speak to me over a family issue. So I don't speak to my two boys.'
Such is the chasm between father and sons that Josh admitted in 2025 that he did not find out about his father's dementia diagnosis from him directly, but through a friend at a coffee shop.
'The reason why (I speak about this publicly is) if I can get this message over to my children, please don't make the same mistake, because I nearly lost my life for it,' Windass stressed.
Despite the distance between them, Windass remains a proud supporter of his sons' achievements, admitting that he was the 'f***ing proudest man in the world' when Josh scored the winning goal at Wembley to send Sheffield Wednesday up to the Championship at the end of the 2022-23 season.
Josh echoed his father's greatest achievement on the pitch, with Windass himself netting the winner in 2008 to see Hull promoted to the Premier League.
Joking that his son's display 'took the heat off' him, he added: 'The kid's a f***ing player, and I'm very proud of it.
'But that's testament to them. Josh is teetotal, Jordan's teetotal, and I'm f***ing proud of that (too).'