For the purists out there, another dose of pure Tottenham. Pure chaos. Pure heartbreak.
One goal down inside six minutes, three down inside 15 minutes with Antonin Kinsky brutally hauled off by Igor Tudor after mistakes leading to two of the first three Atletico Madrid goals.
The Spurs players including, crucially, their Czech 'keeper simply could not stay on their feet during the opening stages. They were sliding around as if the footwear had been hacked. Or one half of the pitch had been coated in oil.
Diego Simeone's team lost their footing, too, but not nearly so often and were able to capitalise, run havoc and establish a comfortable lead into the second leg next week in London.
As for Tudor, his future is once more under fierce scrutiny. Four defeats out of four since he was appointed on an interim basis to replace Thomas Frank, with 14 goals conceded.
Spurs have lost six in a row for the first time ever, and next is a trip to Liverpool with Micky van de Ven suspended and doubts surrounding Cristian Romero and Joao Palhinha, who were both forced off looking dazed after a sickening clash of heads in stoppage time.
Most of those in the away end had already gone. Earlier they had passed time by singing for Mauricio Pochettino, the popular former boss now in charge of the USA and at the game on the auspices of scouting one of his players, Atletico's Johnny Cardoso.
If Spurs fans thought their last trip to these parts had started badly with a dodgy handball penalty conceded inside two minutes of the Champions League final against Liverpool seven years ago, they would have to admit this was worse.
And for anyone thinking things could get no worse for Tudor's Spurs after the meltdown last week against Crystal Palace… well, time for the infamous Mick McCarthy meme.
It can't go on like this can it, Mick? It can…
Kinsky, recalled by Tudor for his first appearance since October, was culpable for the first.
Trying to spray a pass to the right wing, he slipped, scuffed the ball and gave it to Ademola Lookman, who zipped a pass to Julian Alvarez, who moved it on to Marcos Llorente who met it first time with a wonderfully crisp and accurate side-footed finish.
The punishment was clinical by Atletico, but such a critical decision by Tudor to change his goalkeeper had backfired spectacularly and what was already a big test for a nervous wreck of a team became even bigger.
The game was wild and open from the outset, the Metropolitano pulsated and Simeone's players tore around, charged up with incredible energy and intensity. Spurs gasped for air.
Antoine Griezmann scored the second, courtesy of a slip by Micky van de Ven in defence. Griezmann pounced on the loose ball, skipped by Kevin Danso and drove a shot low past Kinsky.
Within seconds, it was 3-0. This time, Kinsky trying to sweep a pass with his left foot towards his right back barely made any contact, fell onto his backside and left Alvarez the simple task of rolling the ball into an empty net.
Tudor turned to Guglielmo Vicario, a moment of devastation for Kinsky. At 22, it will take huge reserves of self-belief and mental fortitude if he is to come back from this night to forge a Spurs career.
'It was necessary to preserve the guy, preserve the team,' said Tudor. 'He was sorry. The team is with him. Me too. He understands the moment. Toni is a bright guy, a good goalkeeper, unfortunately it happened, big mistakes in big game.
'But this start was too much for us when we are like we are, fragile and weak.'
Atletico though had the wind in their sails regardless of who was in goal and soon claimed the fourth.
Vicario made a reflex save to prevent Pape Matar Sarr heading a free kick into his own goal, but Robin Le Normard was first to the rebound and his header crossed the line despite a frantic defensive scramble.
Porro pulled a goal back and Jan Oblak saved from Richarlison as Spurs lurched towards half time, with Van de Ven lucky to avoid a red card for a high tackle and Llorente missing the chance to score a fifth.
The second half was a more balanced affair. Atletico's tempo eased and when Spurs made it through the red-and-white shirts they were defied by Oblak, who saved again from Richarlison and in doing so sparked a counterattack leading to the fifth goal.
The ball was hooked clear, high into the sky and met by Griezmann who flicked it with the outside of his boot to release Alvarez.
It was a breathtaking piece of skill and became an assist thanks to Alvarez who accelerated clear from deep inside his own half and claimed his second goal of game.
Solanke pulled one back in the 76th minute by which time the bulk of the Spurs fans were on their way back to the city centre, probably wondering if their next trip away game in Europe will be to Cardiff or Swansea.