Who is the best exponent of the ‘dark arts’ at your Premier League club?

It could be time-wasting goalkeepers — like Emi Martinez against Arsenal — or the full-back who steals a few yards on every throw-in they take. Or perhaps the central midfielder who breaks up a promising attack for the opposition with a tactical foul.

Every team has a player who stretches the rules to the limit. Whether you call it gamesmanship, football's “dark arts” or s**thousery, who is the best exponent for your Premier League club?

Our correspondents give their views…

Arsenal

The pleasing thing for Arsenal is they have more candidates for this than they have done in previous years, showing their increased competitive edge, but Ben White is their operator-in-chief.

Subtle bumps and nudges on opposition forwards while the referee isn't looking serve as attempts to get in their heads. These worked particularly well on Harry Kane in October's north London derby. He has no issue winding up opposition fans either, whether it be from taking longer than necessary to take a throw-in or reminding them of the score as he walks past them having been substituted.

White can get under the skin of opposition players (Photo: Visionhaus/Getty Images)

His seemingly intentional dry post-match interviews resonate most though. From popping his collar to his willingness to live inside the awkwardness of these situations, he brings a lot to a matchday, not just with the ball at his feet.

Art de Roché

Aston Villa

I mean, we probably already have a winner here. Why mention anyone else when we've already discussed Emi Martinez, the biggest s**thouse in football.

From his time-wasting to his penalty saves and trash-talking, the Argentinian World Cup winner has all the ingredients to get right under the skin of opponents… and largely get away with it all, too.

But if we're looking for an outfield alternative then Ashley Young ticks all the boxes.

A former tricky and nimble winger who used to go down too easily, but also has the battle scars to show he was kicked from pillar to post — Pablo Zabaleta, we're looking at you — Young, still playing at the ripe age of 37, is now a seasoned full-back who even educates his team-mates on mastering the dark arks.

“I speak to the players about game management, whether it's wasting time or we're under the cosh and somebody needs to go down and take the sting out of the game,” Young has said in the past.

“I won't just do it in the match, either. I do it in training.”

He's a referee's nightmare.

Gregg Evans

Bournemouth

If you say “dark arts” three times anywhere in Bournemouth, a yellow card with Jefferson Lerma's name on it will magically appear in your back pocket. The 28-year-old's reputation for s**thousery precedes him, picking up 47 yellow cards during his time in English football — the most of any Championship or Premier League player since Lerma arrived at Bournemouth in 2018. But the Colombia international has been noticeably less combative this season, picking up just three bookings while Adam Smith (eight) and Chris Mepham (five) have racked up more in fewer minutes.

Instead, Bournemouth's best proponent has to be goalkeeper Neto. Whether it's his conveniently-timed injury knocks to take the sting out of the game or taking his time with goal kicks, the 33-year-old finds new ways of riling up opposition fans every week.

Neto is finding new ways to wind up fans (Photo: Dan Istitene/Getty Images)

Ahmed Shooble

Brentford

There are countless examples of Ivan Toney masterfully executing the dark arts including the penalty he won and converted in Brentford's 2-0 victory over Bournemouth last month. At first glance, Marcos Senesi has dragged him to the ground but on closer inspection, it is actually Toney who traps the defender's arm and gets away with it.

The forward cleverly wrapped his arms around William Saliba when his side faced Arsenal at the Emirates Stadium a couple of weeks ago, was somehow awarded a free kick and then equalised in controversial fashion.

Toney is cheeky too — he mimicked Aleksandar Mitrovic's celebration when he scored against Fulham. The 26-year-old spent several seasons playing in League One and League Two and you can see those experiences instilled grit and an edge into his game.

Brighton & Hove Albion

Everyone knows Alexis Mac Allister is nice, right?

A smile is never far away (who wouldn't be grinning if you've got a World Cup winner's medal). The Argentina midfielder is renowned for being polite and mild-mannered.

So, how come he climbed to six bookings in 19 league appearances this season in the recent 1-1 draw at Crystal Palace with a naughty challenge on Cheick Doucoure?

Mac Allister planted his right boot on Doucoure's left shin, just six minutes into his comeback from a one-match ban for five cautions.

It wasn't done with excessive force or malice, which saved Mac Allister from a red card from referee Michael Oliver.

Still, it shows you can be charming… and harming!

Andy Naylor

Chelsea

It took me a while to think of any Chelsea player who has done anything lately to wind up the opposition.

For example, the luxury of time-wasting has been in short supply because Chelsea have not been winning many games to even try it.

Not many players spring to mind. Perhaps another indication they have become too nice.

But in the 1-0 victory over Crystal Palace last month, keeper Kepa Arrizabalaga showed he is still capable of some hi-jinks.

Arrizabalaga's volleyball skills have improved (Photo: MB Media/Getty Images)

As the clock was running down, the ball went out of play into the Palace fans behind Arrizabalaga's goal. It was thrown back to him on a couple of occasions and instead of catching it, he displayed skills that may interest the Spanish volleyball team by punching the ball straight back into the crowd to take a few more seconds off the referee's stopwatch.

Simon Johnson

Crystal Palace

Part of Palace's problem this season is that they don't have anyone who does the other side of the game.

The closest you'll get is midfielder Will Hughes, who is not afraid to make a strong challenge or occasionally try to get in the opposition players' faces, but he is not a guaranteed starter.

Jordan Ayew is clever at winning cheap free kicks, going down in stages and grabbing the ball to make his point, but this too is not particularly devious.

Matt Woosnam

Everton

When it comes to the dark arts, Everton often seem to fall short.

You have to go back to September 2020 for the last time an opposition player — Kieran Gibbs, then of West Brom — was sent off against them. More recently, their Merseyside derby defeat at Anfield felt like a meek surrender. Both Liverpool goals came from fast breaks and could have been stopped by some good, old-fashioned tactical fouling.

That prompted some supporters to wonder if Everton are far too nice (read: facilitating) for their own good.

Goalkeeper Jordan Pickford has been known to waste time and engage in the occasional back and forth with opposition players or fans, but of the current squad Neal Maupay does it best.

Maupay wound up Zinchenko against Arsenal (Photo: Clive Brunskill/Getty Images)

Take his recent exchange with Oleksandr Zinchenko. After initiating contact with the Arsenal man, Maupay fell to the ground theatrically, sparking a furious response from Zinchenko and his team-mates. It was at that moment, late in the 1-0 win, that Everton knew for certain they had Arsenal's number.

More of that please.

Patrick Boyland

In his younger days, growing up in the city of Smederevo in Serbia, Aleksandar Mitrovic was often a bit more hands-on. He was not one to shy away from a fight, and his spare time was sometimes spent throwing rocks at trains. Nowadays, he prefers to be a wind-up merchant. And boy can he get under people's skin.

He often receives a lot of man-handling from defenders and that very rarely gets punished by officials. So, his response is to play the game smartly. A lot of backchat. A few soft tumbles. One such game away at Hull last season saw the home fans rage at him for it. Mitrovic's response? Score and celebrate in front of the most vocal section of the crowd.

He's not a dirty player. The hot-headedness of his youth has passed, and he has never been sent off for Fulham (after five years). But he relishes a confrontation and will give everything for victory, dark arts and all. Every team needs a player like that.

Peter Rutzler

Leicester City

Kasper Schmeichel was the master of taking his time and referees certainly got the blunt end of his opinion on regular occasions, but since he departed Leicester have become a bit too nice!

Jamie Vardy is still the master of s**thousery with opposition fans, but even he has curbed his wind-up wizardry as he plays fewer minutes.

Maddison has taken on the mantle from Vardy (Photo: Plumb Images/Leicester City FC via Getty Images)

James Maddison has stepped up in more ways than one this season and he is prone to put pressure on referees while buying free kicks in promising areas has become a forte that winds up opposition fans.

Leeds United

The star of the show is Luke Ayling — the inventor of the “Ayling Flop”. It's a simple strategy. Ayling claims possession near a touchline, shields the ball, draws an opposition attacker closer to him and then takes a nudge in the back, firm enough to go down. The Ayling Flop has been legendary at Elland Road for years and oddly, despite the fact the right-back has been on the scene here since 2016, very few people seem to have worked it out. Ayling is so aware of it himself that it's not unusual to see him laugh when a decision goes his way.

He knows what he's doing. But even though he's looking for it, there's rarely any way of denying that contact has been made. You'd merely assume that over time, rival players and coaches would look for ways to avoid getting sucked in and giving away fouls in that way. The benefit for Leeds? Time and again, it serves to relieve pressure in defensive areas where they might otherwise come under it heavily.

Liverpool

Andy Robertson isn't really a left-back. He's a method actor. All the years he has spent being a bullish, tone-setting tackler have been for one thing: he wants to land a role in a Martin Scorsese movie.

Winning trophies has been fun but what he really wants is critical acclaim. That's why he flew through Neymar in 2018, pushed Lionel Messi in the head and shoved Kyle Walker to the advertisement boards in 2019. He is adding to his showreel all the time. And over the years he has even perfected the late Ray Liotta's laugh from the film Goodfellas. He did an impression for Jordan Pickford recently which didn't go down too well.

Robertson in action against Pickford (Photo: Paul Ellis/AFP via Getty Images)

The Scotsman's mantra is to “keep going, be ruthless” which is exactly what he told his team-mates after Liverpool scored their fifth goal of a 5-0 win against Manchester United at Old Trafford last season. He really wanted a sixth, seventh and eighth goal but not as much as he wants that Oscar.

Caoimhe O'Neill

Manchester City

Fernandinho's departure last summer deprived Pep Guardiola of a player with 37 years of wily experience.

Tactical fouling was often the charge levelled against Fernandinho. Guardiola always denied it. “I have never in my life had a meeting with players to talk about tactical fouls,” he once insisted.

That might be true but his former assistant, Mikel Arteta, certainly seemed to be telling City's players to do just that in one scene of Amazon's All or Nothing documentary.

This season, the Premier League champions have taken the same collegial approach to fouling opponents as they did to scoring goals in the pre-Erling Haaland days. Rodri is out in front but barely ahead of Bernardo Silva, Ruben Dias, Jack Grealish and even Haaland.

Bernardo perhaps has the greatest claim to being Fernandinho's successor. His refusal to applaud Liverpool during a guard of honour in 2020 went down very well with supporters.

Mark Critchley

Manchester United

For years, Casemiro confounded La Liga viewers with his ability to avoid bookings. Barcelona fans said he was a sign of the match official's favouritism towards Real Madrid. Spanish newspapers joked he wore a cloak of invisibility.

He has a knack for getting away with things he really shouldn't. In the most recent Manchester derby, the Brazilian was jostling for the ball with Riyad Mahrez on the edge of the United box, got frustrated with his inability to win the ball back and simply shoved the City man to the ground. No foul, no booking.

Casemiro is thought to be learning English quickly but there must be something to the manner in which he talks to referees after they've given him a warning that allows him to diffuse a situation and avoid a booking.

Casemiro is a master of not getting booked (Photo: Oli Scarff/AFP via Getty Images)

Casemiro is so good at not getting booked, that his yellow card and suspension against Crystal Palace in January saw Steve McClaren fall out of his seat. His VAR-assisted red card in the reverse fixture at Old Trafford was his first direct red card in 366 games playing in Europe.

(And don't be fooled by Tyrell Malacia's lovely smile either. The Dutch left-back was nicknamed “a pitbull” by Louis van Gaal for a reason.)

Newcastle United

Where to start? The transformation of Eddie Howe's side from naive pushovers to steely s**thousers has been one of the stories of the season. Off the pitch for one thing, where Jamaal Lascelles has picked up two separate cautions while warming up on the touchline for delaying opposition throw-ins.

The entire squad was worth a mention against Chelsea in November, seeing out the last 10 minutes of a 1-0 win like Atletico Madrid in a flurry of shinpad-adjusting, muscle-cramping, ball-booting, unnecessary-substituting glory.

But the name of one man rises above all others — Jacob Murphy. Though his Oscar-worthy cramp in the final minutes against Fulham was one thing, the magnum opus followed nine days later at Southampton in the first leg of the Carabao Cup semi-final.

Duje Caleta-Car was sent off for a second yellow — and there was Murphy, the malevolent spirit in the corner, waving off the Croatian defender with a cocked hip, sassy motion, and beaming smile.

Jacob Whitehead

Nottingham Forest

Nobody has quite managed to fill the gaping s**thouse void left by the summer departure of Brice Samba.

But in his absence, the innocent face of Ryan Yates belies another wily, streetwise character.

Few players have perfected the method of feeling contact from behind, falling to the floor, grabbing the ball and turning his gaze in wide-eyed, aghast fashion towards the referee — all in one fluid motion — as well as Yates.

Yates is a streetwise character (Photo: Chris Brunskill/Getty Images)

Yates is awarded an average of 2.3 free kicks per game — the seventh most among Premier League players. It would be intriguing if there was a stat to demonstrate how many of those come via this route.

He could equally trademark this 'what, me, ref?' look — like his very own version of Zoolander's Blue Steel (we should perhaps call it No Yellow) — which he regularly calls upon after every robust challenge of his own.

Paul Taylor

Southampton

Against Chelsea, Romeo Lavia received his fifth yellow card for what can only be described as a naive entry into the dark arts. Being subbed, Lavia lumbered before stopping altogether to take off his shinpads. Too obvious, Romeo — what he needs is to look at midfield partner James Ward-Prowse, who, at 28, still carries choirboy looks that belie his nuisance behaviour.

He is a proponent of “sharing a yellow” and endlessly has poor Wilfried Zaha in his sights. The smiling assassin concedes the most fouls of any regular starter in the team and yet, incredibly, has only had four yellow cards. Take note, Romeo.

Jacob Tanswell

Tottenham Hotspur

During Tottenham's 2-0 win over West Ham United, Declan Rice told Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg that nobody likes him. It is probably a view held by many opponents but certainly not something that Hojbjerg would mind. There are few cannier than Hojbjerg when it comes to managing the game, slowing things down when his team need him to, staying in the ear of the referee or even opponents if it helps Spurs to get over the line.

Hojbjerg does what is needed to win (Photo: Clive Rose/Getty Images)

When Spurs were 1-0 up against Manchester City this month, Hojbjerg got hit on the shoulder by a free kick but went down clutching his face, forcing a stoppage in play while he was treated for an apparent 'head injury'. It was classic Hojbjerg and it helped Tottenham get to where they needed to be.

Jack Pitt-Brooke

West Ham United

Declan Rice is not afraid to get in the opposition's players' faces. Last season in the 2-1 loss against Arsenal, Rice squared up to Eddie Nketiah. He also didn't shy away from confronting Hojbjerg in the recent 2-0 defeat to Tottenham Hotspur (as mentioned above).

Lukasz Fabianski will occasionally time waste when the result is in West Ham's favour. Vladimir Coufal is clever at stealing crucial yards at a throw-in and Kevin Nolan, the first-team coach, will subtly try to influence the fourth official.

Roshane Thomas

Wolverhampton Wanderers

Stop the contest. The winner is clearly Diego Costa, for whom the word s**thouse could have been invented. The man once named by French newspaper L'Equipe as the most hated footballer in the world has honed and crafted his reputation.

Costa is known to be a pantomime villain (Photo: Nathan Stirk/Getty Images)

His Wikipedia page has its own 'discipline and controversies' section, which basically lists a series of headbutts, stamps, elbows, kicks and spitting incidents. So good is Costa at knowing when to turn the pantomime act off and on that he only received his first Premier League red card before Christmas. For a headbutt. They don't make 'em like him anymore.