The Christmas season is here and that means the annual puzzle of what present to get for your football-loving relative, friend or even pet.
Gone are the days of just mugs, jerseys and season DVDs, Premier League clubs now flog anything from golf tees to coat hangers – whatever they can slap a club crest onto basically.
So if you are looking at a football-related gift this Christmas, here's a hint: don't get any of these...
Arsenal
Christmas tropical shirt (£35)
As well as stocking their fair share of Christmas jumpers, Arsenal's tropical shirt is definitely one of the more outrageous Premier League festive products on offer this winter. The Gunners have been soaring under Unai Emery – something tells us this will not be flying off the shelves though.
Bournemouth
Wooden storage box (£20)
Eddie Howe's side have been an exciting watch this season – full of attacking flair and creativity… a complete opposite to this offering at £20. What screams festive joy more than a wooden box with a Cherries crest on it?
Brighton
Christmas jumper (£25)
Our first Christmas jumper on the list and certainly not the last. The best festive knits are two-colour and minimalist – this is not. Just a bit too much going on here for our liking. The Seagulls are normally a solid and steady side – but this is a bit all over the place.
Burnley
Musical pen (£8)
Why wouldn't you need a Clarets-themed musical pen? Wonder if Sean Dyche belting out '12 days of Christmas' is one of the songs...
Cardiff
Mascot comforter (£8.99)
Mascot Bartley Bluebird sits at the top of this comforter – but it might just do the opposite. There is a distinct look of 'help' in his eyes. Bartley might not be the only Bluebird needing a bit of help this winter after Cardiff's difficult start back in the Premier League.
Chelsea
'Gary Cahill' Pop Vinyl figure (£12)
Poor old Gary Cahill's having a hard time of it recently. Hardly playing at Chelsea and now his Pop Vinyl figure – which admittedly is difficult to say looks like Cahill - is the only one not sold out on the Blues' website. Despite its price being reduced.
Crystal Palace
Lucky socks (£4.99)
Palace need a bit of luck in front of goal this winter, having scored a joint league-low eight goals this season. These socks might be manager Roy Hodgson's final option to get Alexander Sorloth and Christian Benteke firing over the festive period.
Everton
Toffee jar (£25)
Everton have been splashing the cash since Farhad Moshiri's takeover a couple of years ago – but they won't recoup much of it by selling this toffee jar. A simple idea, a simple design and a simple product - but £25 is a bit of sticky deal indeed.
Fulham
Christmas jumper (£25)
The jumper equivalent of a lump of coal in a stocking, this offering from the Cottagers is more ghost of Christmas past than festive fun. There has been a lack of cheer about Fulham's season so far – and there is a lack of cheer about this jumper too.
Huddersfield
Rubber duck family (£8)
What's a better Christmas present than a confused-looking Huddersfield Town branded rubber duck? How about three confused-looking Huddersfield Town branded rubber ducks? The Terriers will need some tips on staying above water from their aquatic friends this season.
Leicester
Tape measure – (£8)
Are you a Leicester fan? Do you like measuring things? Then this is the perfect gift for you. Rubbish from the Foxes.
Liverpool
Klopp mask (£3)
Liverpool have been impressive this season and are still unbeaten in the league under charismatic manager Jurgen Klopp. This crazed-look-in-his-eyes mask is too terrifying for all but the biggest Klopp superfans though. And be careful if you are brave enough to buy it - it might cause you to spontaneously give out hugs or uncontrollably beat your chest when worn.
Manchester City
Touch and stay pad (£7)
In a slightly exaggerated description, this touch and stay pad for phones and tablets 'knows no boundaries'. Instead of putting your phone or tablet down, stick it on this pad instead. Pep Guardiola might fancy giving one of these to Benjamin Mendy; it might actually encourage him to put his phone down and get off Twitter.
Manchester United
Santa Christmas jumper (£24)
There has definitely not been much to cheer at all at for United this season. Their worst league start in a generation, poor performances, disharmony between the players and manager… and now this. Santa 'is a huge Red' according to the description. He certainly does not look very happy – maybe he has been to a few games at Old Trafford recently.
Newcastle
Christmas jumper (£5)
With Mike Ashley firmly playing the role of Scrooge amongst the Toon Army, there is almost no Yuletide merchandise on the Magpies' website. This pretty awful women's Christmas jumper is in fact the only jumper on offer – and it is reduced to a fiver. Definitely the leftovers from last year and it might be this year's spare part too.
Southampton
3-pack air fresheners (£4)
The Saints website advises to 'keep your car and home smelling fresh' with these branded air fresheners. Things have certainly been stale this season at St Marys but let's hope the board use a couple of these to refresh the manager's office this winter rather than sack Ralph Hasenhuttl.
Tottenham
Doormat - £15
'The perfect way to mark your territory', according to the Spurs website. This rather ironic gift after the farce of their new stadium poses a few questions. Will it arrive at least three months late? Will you have to use your neighbour's doormat for a while? Will you ever need it in Milton Keynes?
Watford
Christmas jumper (£23.40 - on offer!)
Shockingly, this is the only adult Christmas jumper the Hornets have on sale. It almost looks like a DIY job – a standard Santa costume with a Watford crest slapped onto the chest after the actual jumpers got lost in the post. Lazy.
West Ham
Wooden hammer (£20)
It must have taken an age to come up with this in the Hammers' marketing department...
Wolves
Christmas jumper - £30
Definitely the most unique Premier League Christmas jumper on the market, we'll say that much. But the more you look at it, the more your eyes start to hurt – probably not what a Christmas gift is supposed to do. Fearsome-looking Wolves aren't the embodiment of the season of goodwill either. Plus, the 'bauble' looks like an angry pumpkin.
