Dimitar Berbatov is imagining himself as a Tottenham Hotspur player. New stadium, Champions League semi-final. He likes it. 'Anything is possible for them now,' he says.
But then, there is an offer from Manchester United, in their current state of decay. What does he do?
'It is still Manchester United,' he says, hinting at what is to follow. 'It is still the badge, the history, the great players of their past, Old Trafford, the pulling power they have.
'Okay, you will be like, 'Wait a minute, Spurs are playing in the Champions League, a new stadium, great training ground, better players'. But, in the end, I would choose United.'
That is what Berbatov did in 2008, when he quit Spurs in a £30.75million move, a record fee for United. His decision was vindicated by two Premier League titles.
Spurs, where he lifted the League Cup, have won nothing since he left, while United's league tally has increased by just one in his absence.
'They both need to call me back!' says Berbatov, whose smouldering eyes and svelte frame still exude the aura of the master marksman he once was.
'But United will be fine. They are not in a good way, but will they be winning trophies in five years? Yes. That is why I signed, and that is why I would follow that intuition even today.'
Such thoughts would perhaps interest Spurs boss Mauricio Pochettino.
'Sometimes, you need to get out of your comfort zone, even if you're afraid of the consequences,' says Berbatov, considering Pochettino and United's longstanding interest. 'You need to do that to test yourself. And Pochettino could be a United manager.'
The United manager Berbatov signed for was Sir Alex Ferguson. It is, smiles the Bulgarian, perhaps Ferguson's departure and not his own that has been the cause of their decline.
Berbatov, sitting here in a London restaurant, remembers the day he made the journey from the capital to Manchester, using the story to reinforce the lure of the club.
'They told me, 'By the way, Sir Alex will be waiting for you at the airport'. I thought it was a joke. I was like, 'What the f***?',' says Berbatov, who is now a Betfair Ambassador.
'You get off the plane and see him. Wow. You feel flattered, afraid, discomfort. You sit in the back of the car. You are still a good player, and you have your confidence. But it's like being on a date with a woman, 'What the f*** do I say now?'.'
It was not the first time Berbatov had found himself muted in the back of a car ahead of a proposed transfer. Aged 18, the striker was leaving the training ground of CSKA Sofia, his first club, when he was grabbed by gangsters and taken to see crime lord Georgi Iliev, who demanded he sign for his team, Levski Kjustendil.
'I was a young boy, just building my name. Back home, at that time, this was how you did business. They say, 'You come to us'. Normally, they did not accept no for an answer.
'I was scared. It was intimidating. I knew how things worked. Behind him, there were another seven guys. I asked, 'Can I speak to my father?'. They allowed me to make a call. He realised what was happening and reacted quickly. Thankfully, it was all sorted.'
That experience perhaps helped Berbatov when he made his acting debut in a Bulgarian mafia movie last year and, while discussing family, he delivers one line that could have come straight from the film script.
'I have two daughters,' he begins. 'And two guns. One for each of their first boyfriends…'
Despite the metaphorical gun to his head, Berbatov did not want to sign for Levski. He wanted to win league titles. Ten years later, via Bayer Leverkusen and Spurs, he finally had one in his first season with United.
'I never showed much emotion on the pitch, but that day, inside, I was…'
He gestures to dance, arms tucked into his chest, shoulders rotating.
'I was the happiest guy in the world. Going home with the medal, totally naked, dancing around the house. My wife was like, 'What on earth?'. She didn't understand. The kids were there. I looked ridiculous.
'Even in the dressing room I was going crazy. Then I see Ryan Giggs with his 200th medal, 'Berba… What the f****, man?'. He was so used to winning. That is what United is about, it made me realise.
'I would tell any player now, 'Make sure you win something'. You can tell your kids, 'Here is my trophy cabinet'. If you're Harry Kane and look back and there is nothing… I won the Premier League twice. Steven Gerrard, a great player, never.'
Berbatov has lost none of his self-assuredness despite his playing days, at 38, being all but over. I still watch the Premier League and get angry, thinking, 'Could I still do that?'.'
He noted the recent criticism of United's running statistics, not that a player of his effortless genius buys into such analysis.
'I can show you five world-class players who are doing the same as I was doing back in the day, for sure. If you are clever enough, and read the game well, one or two steps are enough. It's like a game of chess.'
He takes hold of the salt and pepper on the table in front of us.
'I give the example of Sergio Busquets at Barcelona, he never sprints, he's as slow as me. But here, in his head, he's quicker than everyone else. Some people are like, 'Wait, this is not the norm, you need to run like everyone else'. Believe me, you don't.
'Some players do a few sprints and people are like, 'Look how hard he works'. F*** off, it's fake!'
Berbatov scored 122 goals during eight seasons in England, finishing at Fulham. He takes us on an unexpected detour back to the urinals at Craven Cottage, sharing another memory of why his style should have been a source of confidence, not criticism.
'I was peeing before a game, imagining how I would score. At the time, I could see my team-mates were stressed, fighting with the ball almost. I thought, 'Wait a minute, let's do something for fun'. So I wrote on my vest, 'Keep calm and pass me the ball'. Then I scored and revealed the message. It was a joke, 'Okay guys, let's enjoy it… and just give it to me'.'
Spurs, trailing 1-0 and without Harry Kane for Wednesday's second leg at Ajax, could perhaps do with Berbatov leading the line, especially as he has won three times at this stage.
In each final, however, his side has lost, the first being a 2-1 defeat by Real Madrid for Leverkusen in 2002.
'It was a fairytale just being there, no-one gave us a chance. We beat Liverpool and United on the way. That's why I want Spurs or Ajax to win in the final, for the underdog.
'It will be difficult if it is Barcelona and (Lionel) Messi. It was the same for Leverkusen against (Zinedine) Zidane and Real.
'I had a lovely view of that volley. I was behind him on the halfway line thinking, 'Please, no'. Sometimes you sense it, the body language, an unbelievable goal.
'But Spurs have their own stars, too, I still think they can be champions..'
