This week, we have been mostly talking about robots. Premier League players as emotionless androids, incapable of independent thought and unable to break free of their programming.
That's what the goalless Manchester Derby drove Gary Neville to declare. Too structured, too scripted, too boring.
But what do we mean by boring? Slow pace, no end-to-end action, no jeopardy? Or is it just the Manchester clubs aren't as good as they used to be?
Football has long been flooded with tactical ideals: from Total Football to the defensive Italian 'Catenaccio', Pep Guardiola's 'Juego de Posiciono' positional play, Jose Mourinho's low-block bus parking. They all still had rules. We are just in an era where we have greater tools and understanding of how to make them work.
So, here's five reasons why the robots haven't suddenly taken over – but, even if they are in charge, it's making football less boring than ever.
GOALS, GOALS, GOALS
The most obvious arbiter for excitement is goals. That's what we go to football matches to see. If goals be our guide then football is less boring than ever.
Both the previous two seasons produced the most goals ever seen in a 20-team Premier League campaign with 1084 in 2022-23 and then a whopping 1246 in 2023-24, which even surpassed any of the three years with two extra teams that comprised 462 matches instead of the current 380.
At current rate, the Manchester derby dross included, we're on course for about 1,118. Ten seasons ago, only 975 goals went in.
AN ARRAY OF STYLES
So, is it how they're scored that's the issue? Teams trying to pass the ball into the net instead of just giving it some welly like Tony Yeboah.
We are seeing less of that. In the age of xG, head coaches know the chances of scoring from 25 yards are far smaller than working the ball into a more dangerous area. And in a game of ever finer margins, those percentages count.
That's why 20 years ago, nearly half of all shots in the Premier League were taken from outside the box. Now, it's less than a third.
It's one reason we don't see many free-kicks scored these days. Kevin De Bruyne's against Crystal Palace was only the 11th scored this season. In the 2007-08 top-flight season, more than 40 went in. There was at the Euros. Even Declan Rice revealed he had to defy orders from Arsenal's set piece coach Nicolas Jover to whip a couple around the Real Madrid wall.
Passes have been on the rise in recent years, up to 941 a game last season from just 874 in 2015-16 as the Guardiolafication of football took its stranglehold. Goalkeepers are going shorter than ever. Dribbles are falling, too, as players take on their opponent less and less.
However, things are changing. The days of wholesale possession obsession appear behind us. The number of passes per game this term has fallen below 900 for the first time since 2016-17.
Neville talks of cheap Guardiola counterfeits, but rarely have we seen such tactical variety. Nuno Espirito Santo sits Forest deep to launch counter-attacks. Anthony Elanga covering 85 metres in nine seconds to beat Untied was as thrilling and unrobotic a goal as you could wish to see.
Brighton and Bournemouth press relentlessly. Eddie Howe and Unai Emery have Newcastle and Aston Villa shifting shapes and styles. Oliver Glasner and Ruben Amorim are flying the flag for three-at-the-back, though one does it far better than the other.
Counter-attacks, or 'fast breaks' as Opta call them, are going up. There's been more this season than last and double the number from 2017-18. Teams who move the ball up and down the pitch are flourishing. Sides are so much better at pressing that even City can't pass it out from the back to their heart's content like they used to. They used to have more than 70 per cent possession, now it's just 60. Errors leading to shots and goals are at all-time highs because of it and it means teams are having to change.
A STRONGER MIDDLE ORDER
Perhaps it's because this season feels like it's already over? Liverpool are coasting to the title. The three promoted sides are going down…again. United are still rubbish.
That sense of a growing gulf is misleading. These variation of styles and fearlessness of these middling teams means rarely had so many sides good enough to mix it with the European regulars. Nottingham Forest are about to finish in the top four. Villa could do it for a second season in a row. Fulham and Brighton aren't out of the running either.
At least 30 points separated the teams that finished fourth and 10th in three of the five seasons from 2013-14 to 2017-18. The gap has touched 20 points only once since.
Just eight points separated Chelsea in fourth and Bournemouth in 10th before this weekend.
For the first time in a quarter of a century, there was only one member of the so-called Big Six in the FA Cup quarter-finals. Granted, when Man City inevitably win it, that will be boring.
COMEBACK KINGS
It also means, more than ever, it ain't over until it's over.
When Marco Silva's Fulham beat Liverpool last weekend it was the 51st time this season that a team came from behind to win. This is only the fifth campaign since the Premier League's inception that's seen at least 50 comeback victories. Four of them have come in the last five seasons and, at the current rate, we are on track to match last season's record of 63.
Boring stuff.
THE NO 9 IS KING AGAIN
This ever-changing tactical landscape has seen the renaissance of one of football's most loved, and thought lost, figureheads – the traditional centre-forward.
Not that long ago, with sides obsessed with possession, we saw teams like City and Liverpool playing without an out-an-out striker.
'False nines' like Roberto Firmino dropped into midfield and did the dirty work while wide forwards did most of the goalscoring.
Only three seasons ago, just three centre-forwards – Cristiano Ronaldo, Harry Kane and Jamie Vardy – made up the top 10 goal scorers.
Wingers like Mohammed Salah, Heung-min Son, Sadio Mane, Wilfried Zaha and Raheem Sterling helped comprise the rest.
This season, it was six before this weekend.
Erling Haaland fired City to the title in his first two seasons, Alexander Isak leads the Newcastle line with aplomb, Chris Wood is taking Forest to the Champions League while Yoane Wissa, Ollie Watkins and Jean-Phillipe Mateta continue the comeback.
Ipswich's Liam Delap sits just outside the list and is the player everyone wants to buy.
Salah still sits at the top. Watching him fly down the wing is anything but boring – and under Arne Slot has had the shackles freed.
He's being allowed to press less than ever, sprint less, run fewer miles. He's never been less robotic and he's never been better.
