A Letter to My Family (And My Arsenal Family)
Gabriel Jesus
Arsenal F.C. | Brazil
Dec 18, 2025
Para ler em Português, clique aqui.
For me, a day without football is a terrible day.
It’s been that way since I learned to kick a ball.
After I tore my ACL, I had 300 bad days in a row. When the doctor told me that I would be out 12 months, I mentally collapsed. Thank God, what saved me during that time was my family. I think without them, I would have gone crazy. For the first few months of recovery, I had to basically live on the couch. I would come down in the morning on my crutches, and that was my world……. Treatment. Breakfast. Treatment. Lunch. Treatment. Nap. Treatment.
My daughter Helena is just 3 years old, so she would go grab her toys and bring them to the couch for me to play with her.
I would say, “No, I’m sorry, meu amor. I have to lay here.”
We were trying to teach her the concept of sharing at that time, and one day she grabbed my crutch and started walking around with it, imitating me.
She said, “I have a boo-boo, too.”
I said, “You have to give me that back, meu amor. You’re going to get hurt.”
And she said, “Daddy, what did we talk about? You have to share.”
I would be watching the Arsenal matches on TV, and for me, that is the worst feeling in the world. Every footballer knows this anxiety. I was totally helpless, like a fan. Every time we would miss, I would be throwing the pillows. All you want to do is help, and you can’t. Helena would see that I was upset, but she doesn’t understand anything about football yet.
She’d start twirling around the room in front of the TV, and announce to me and my wife, “Everyone please be quiet. I am going to sing.”
“Meu amor, daddy is working.”
“I am going to sing and dance now!!!!!! Quiet please!!!!!”
Três palavrinhas só,
eu aprendi de cor.
Deus é amor.
Lalalalala.
Saka has the ball on the wing, and she is twirling around, blocking my view!
“You’re not watching!!!!”
Hahahah. I was going crazy.
Then, after 2 minutes, she would get bored and go into the other room to get something.
“Don’t you want to watch, Helena? It’s Arsenal.”
“Mmmmm. No, I want to do David and Goliath.”
See, she watches these cartoons on YouTube about the Bible, and she loves the story of David and Goliath. She goes and gets a rolled up sock from her room and says, “Mommy, you’re Goliath today. Daddy can’t stand up.”
PPPEEEWWWWWW. She pings you in the head with the sock, and you have to go down. Then she stands over your body, victorious.
It’s really cute the first 200 times!!!
Sometimes we would get her to sit still for a minute on the couch, and she would watch the game just long enough for me to explain, “We are the guys in red, remember?”
If she saw somebody who looked like me, she'd point at the TV and say, “Look, daddy’s playing!!”
And I’d have to tell her, “No, meu amor, I’m right here. That’s daddy’s friend. I’m hurt, remember? You have to wait a bit longer, and then you can watch me play.”
She’d point, “Daddy.”
Hahahah :-)
I remember Jorginho was one of the first people to visit me, after the doctor told me how bad it was. Everyone who came to our house, Helena would greet them at the door and then say, “Come and see my daddy’s boo-boo!”
She would take their hand and lead them over to the “patient.” Then she would give my knee a little kiss.
“Is it better now?”
She doesn’t understand, but she understands a lot, you know? Every time I need some strength, I think about that memory and it makes me teary-eyed. She helped me stop obsessing over football and the pain, and remember life.
I also have to thank God for my wife Raiane, because on the toughest days, she proved to be a true ride-or-die companion. When I could not even get up off the couch, Raiane would be running up and down the house fetching ice for my knee. In my darkest days, she was a mom, a nurse and my companion watching football.
And I think as footballers, we can often neglect real life. Before my injury, I was definitely neglecting mine. I was not the husband or father that I needed to be. That’s just the truth.
Ever since I was a little kid, growing up in the favela, I always believed that God had a plan for me. There will always be answers for everything, which we will only know later. I think this was true for my injury, too. At the time, my wife was pregnant with our son, and we were feeling a lot of anxiety about it. I have never spoken about this before, but Helena’s birth was very traumatic for us. At the time, I was living the life of a footballer, and I was simply not there much for my wife. She had to give birth here in England, 6,000 miles away from her family, and without speaking the language. During the delivery, there was a severe complication, and she lost a lot of blood. When you have a medical issue like this, the terms the nurses use are scary, even if it’s in your own language. Everything is happening so fast. You are helpless. But when you’re just learning the language, and something like this happens, it’s even more terrifying.
Thank God, my wife was able to deliver Helena, and they stopped the bleeding, but we were traumatised from the experience. I only held my daughter for one day. The next day, I was packing my bags again. I had a flight to catch for the national team. Football never stops.
I felt so much guilt, because I grew up without a father. I’ll never forget being like 8 or 9 years old and playing football with my friends, and seeing their fathers come and join us, and wondering, “Man, where is my father?”
Sometimes I wouldn’t even see my mother all day, because she would be gone when I woke up for school. When I would go to bed again, she would still be out cleaning houses.
When I started playing for Palmeiras, every time I scored a goal, I would look up into the crowd and I didn’t have anyone there. One day, my mother surprised me by coming to the game. I scored, and I can still remember the feeling of looking up and actually seeing her there smiling. It was like a revelation. One of the greatest feelings of my life....
I always promised myself: When I become a father, I will always be there for my kids.
When Helena was born, I was not living up to that. I was there, but I was always distracted, you know? Always catching a flight.
So when I got injured, it came with a blessing. Arsenal were kind enough to let me travel with my wife while I was recovering so that she could give birth back home in Brazil. This time was totally different. For weeks, Helena was stroking her mum’s belly, saying, “Are you going to come out soon?”
The birth was totally smooth. Our son Daniel came into the world healthy and smiling. When the nanny brought Helena to the hospital, she ran into the room and said, “Oh!!! My brother, Daniel!! He’s so small!! Hi, Danielzinho!!”
Yes, my dream in my professional life was always to be a footballer. But my dream in my personal life was to be a father.
As a footballer, you are only ever blessed once, when you become a pro.
But as a father, I have been blessed twice.
This has been the most surreal year of my life. Just when I felt like I was back to playing my best football, I felt a snap against United, and my world crumbled. But I believe that God wouldn’t give me a challenge that I couldn’t come back stronger from. He gave me many blessings to get me through it: My wife, my children, my teammates, and the medical staff at Arsenal, who have been amazing.
People have asked, “Why don’t you just leave? Why don’t you go to Saudi? Or back home to Brazil?”
One day, I would love for everything to come full circle with Palmeiras, but not today.
I feel that I have unfinished business at Arsenal. I don’t want to leave. When I came here to join Mikel, my purpose was not only to score goals. My purpose was to win titles. When I came to the Premier League, I think most people’s reaction was, “Oh? Who is this kid?” They looked at me as a pure goalscorer. But that’s not how I see myself. My strongest trait is that I will do whatever it takes to help the team win titles. At City, I played many roles. I shared the goal scoring load with Agüero sometimes. Other times, I played out on the wing. And other times, I used my physicality to link up play. I think that’s why Mikel brought me here, years ago. I don’t always need to be the number 9 to help the team.
I am not still here for the weather, eh?
I am here to make history.
And I know you all don’t follow Brazilian football here in England, but let me give you a quick history lesson! When I got called to the main team at Palmeiras, when I was 18, they hadn’t won the Brazilian league in 22 years.
We woke up the “sleeping giant” and won the title, and now they can’t stop winning. I go back there sometimes, and I walk the halls at the club, and all you see are trophies, trophies, trophies.
Pictures of old legends, and pictures of the “new legends.”
I think it can be the same at Arsenal. We can wake up the sleeping giant. I have worked with Mikel since I came to this country, and I know what he demands from me. It’s the same as he demands from the chef. Everything, every day.
With this manager and this squad, we can do it. I trust my football. I trust God’s plan. And I know that if I get a chance, I can help the team with the league.
And hey, Helena …. Now you can finally watch me play for real.
Stop your dancing for just a moment!! Put away your toys!! That’s not one of daddy’s friends on the TV, it’s really me. Finally.
Love you all,
Gabriel