Mad dogs and English footballers. Venture into the midday sun in Catalonia and that’s who you’ll have for company.
Rather than train in the shadows of sunrise and sundown, Thomas Tuchel wants the likes of Harry Kane and Jude Bellingham to bake. The hope is that they will rise at the World Cup in North America next summer.
Saying that, this week-long training camp here at the luxurious Camiral Golf & Wellness resort near Girona will feel more like an ice palace compared to the steam chamber of Dallas, where humidity is currently at a lung-reducing 93 per cent and the thermometer intimidates at 33°C. Girona, by comparison, is 60 per cent humidity with temperatures of 25°C. Hot, but your boots aren’t welded to the grass.
That is why, on Monday, England’s players swapped the green of the training pitch for the greenhouse beyond the byline. There, in acclimatisation tents, staff sent the mercury skywards — 36°C — and recorded how long it would take for their stars to fall back to earth.
Working on bikes, each player was monitored to understand better how they react to heat. They did so by swallowing biometric tablets. From that, at the point of exhaustion when they could barely push their pedals any further, the digital material from the dissolvable tablet enabled doctors to scan internal body metrics, revealing core temperature and the like.
Dehydration levels were also monitored, allowing bespoke fluid programmes to be devised. The all white of England could soon mean coats, not kits.
‘Forty-five minutes on a bike is a long time!’ said Eberechi Eze, talking to us from the resort’s clubhouse. ‘You just had to keep going. But it was definitely helpful. It gave a bit of insight into yourself, and how you would cope in those conditions. It was about understanding how hot you actually are while doing the training. It was interesting.’
Cole Palmer took it in his stride. As ever with Palmer, you wonder if there was any perspiration from which to extract the data. ‘Yeah, it was tough,’ he said. ‘We had to get to a certain wattage or something on a bike and maintain it. For 45 minutes.’
All of this demonstrates two things. Firstly, attention to detail. But also an absolute confidence that they will be at the World Cup in 12 months’ time.
Only Serbia, whom England are yet to face in Group K, could rain on those plans. Andorra won’t. And because of that, the work Tuchel does here at their countryside base will be far more informative and productive than the formality of Saturday’s qualifier in Barcelona, 95km south.
The week began with a trip to Circuit de Barcelona-Catalunya for the Spanish Grand Prix, where they rubbed the shoulders of their designer summer wear with the great and the not-so-good. Robert Lewandowski and Roberto Carlos. Gianni Infantino and Donny van de Beek. Bellingham and Trent Alexander-Arnold met for the first time as Real Madrid team-mates, while Declan Rice was a late arrival after celebrating the wedding of an old team-mate, Jarrod Bowen. The groom was overlooked for this squad.
There was a grid walk and then, in small groups, they were taken to the team garages of Ferrari, McLaren, Mercedes and others. What did they learn? There is one guy at the wheel, but the operation that exists in the pits is on a par with the military might of some small nations. Teamwork and cohesion are key. Tuchel expects the World Cup to be a slog. Think a road trip through Nevada with faulty AC. He says his players are going to ‘suffer’.
It is why he is giving serious thought to a system that would overload England’s midfield and, within it, have two pivot players, the insurance policy for which Gareth Southgate was derided as a handbrake manager. It does not bode well for entertainment, but Tuchel’s remit is medals around necks, not smiles on faces.
Perhaps this week he can pick the brains of Pep Guardiola, whose possession retention and suffocation of the opposition will likely be the strategy of choice among the leading nations next summer. The Manchester City boss is here, also staying at the Camiral resort as he hosts his Legends Golf Trophy.
It’s not quite Oscar Piastri in his McLaren, but there have been some second glances among the England party at the sight of Pep, Gianfranco Zola and Andriy Shevchenko whizzing around on golf buggies in recent days.
On Wednesday, some of England’s players joined them on the parched fairways, afforded an afternoon of down-time by Tuchel. Others enjoyed some ‘wellness’ activity. It looked like yoga with a broomstick. An extension of the witchcraft, or elite level stretching?
There are tennis and padel courts, too, but no tournament-style games room with Xboxes and PlayStations. The upshot? Uno and conversation have been the nightly pursuits, and that lo-fi camaraderie is what Tuchel wants to cultivate.
At Bayern Munich, he was annoyed when some of his players spoke only German during meal times in the presence of Kane, shortly after his arrival in Bavaria. He knew they could speak English and believed it right that they did so. His goal was togetherness. He responded by flipping team-talks from German to English, knowing it was the most commonly understood language.
Tuchel will encourage inclusion and, you feel, reward character. He likes Jordan Henderson. He has been quietly taken by Dan Burn, who brings stature in more ways than one. He admires those who lean in. Because of that, he worries about those who can appear withdrawn and drift to the edges. How his players interact around a dinner table, darts board or pack of cards might just reveal more to him than any GPS or climate-control numbers.
This stay in Spain is not just a boot camp, it’s a social laboratory. Big Brother in the sun — part science, part sociology. The bonds formed over Uno might just keep the deck from crashing down in North America.
There is a football match to follow this weekend, but by then the England boss might know the score on a few more pressing match-ups. Ollie Watkins versus Ivan Toney in attack. Are they better than Dominic Solanke, left at home this time?
Alexander-Arnold versus Kyle Walker versus Reece James. Yes, he has brought three right backs! Then there are Henderson, Rice, Conor Gallagher and Curtis Jones in midfield. Pivots, not divots, are Tuchel’s concern.
The German arrived here with many questions and, while he will not leave with all of the answers, a week beneath the sun would have shone a light on them.