THE problem with teenagers, a headteacher told me this week, is that they are trying to live in two different moral universes.
He says that there is the moral universe we all know, with its rules, conventions and niceties.
And then there’s another universe, the internet’s moral universe, where there are next to no rules and precious few niceties.
OK, every day’s a school day, so I’ll take that on board and, just for good measure, I’m going to throw a third moral universe into this mix — football’s moral universe.
This one, while not all bad by any means, can be a very ugly place indeed.
I’ve not met Phil Foden but from what I’ve seen and heard, as well as being a prodigiously gifted footballer he’s a decent guy.
I was talking to one of his coaches at England youth level.
Listing the attributes Foden showed as a kid — speed, awareness, bravery, command of the ball etc — the coach added another, one which has stuck in my mind.
“He cared what his teammates thought about him,” said the coach.
Interesting that. You’d think that caring what your teammates thought of you would be common enough among footballers to not even merit mention. It would seem this isn’t the case.
Phil cares though, and that’s another reason I hold him in high esteem.
Perhaps that’s why I was more appalled than usual at the behaviour of football fans when I saw that photo of Pep Guardiola embracing him after he’d endured Man Utd fans chanting ghastly things about his Mum.
Awful. But incredibly, to a significant number of fans such conduct is quite acceptable. Because, you see, this is in football’s moral universe where, for some reason, there are those who think it’s OK to behave despicably.
Declan Rice, double miracle-freekick scorer and another nice guy, endures similar stuff — along with his long-time partner, the equally appealing Lauren Fryer.
Lauren, you see, doesn’t conform to some football fans’ idea of what a footballer’s wife should look like. So the poor woman gets abused on social media and, for Declan’s benefit, from the stands. Dreadful.
This is what happens in football’s moral universe. We seem to forget that footballers are human beings with, you know, feelings. However thick their skins have to be, they still have feelings.
I’ve been as guilty of forgetting this as anyone. Many years ago, when I was presenting Match Of The Day 2, I made a joking reference to Arjen Robben’s baldness.
The following week I got a letter — yes, a letter, that’s how long ago it was — from someone who said I should be ashamed of myself as Robben could well be very sensitive about his hair loss.
Initially I scoffed and was minded to reply that Chelsea’s multi-millionaire Dutch superstar could probably deal with a jibe from me.
But when I had thought about it, even though the man himself probably couldn’t have cared less, I concluded that I had been very wrong to mock his appearance.
That was on TV. I’m afraid I’ve said a lot worse as a fan at matches.
I’m not without sin
So I don’t preach this sermon from any moral high ground, because I’m not without sin. I confess, I’ve yelled and chanted stuff at football matches that I would never, and I mean never, have yelled or chanted anywhere else.
I shouted some dreadful things at Jack Grealish, for example, at a play-off semi-final when he was at Villa. I’m quite sure he couldn’t care less, but I can’t say it was my finest hour.
I don’t excuse myself, but these things happen in football’s moral universe, where it’s not that there’s no right or wrong, but there is a big, bad grey area.
There’s a line in there somewhere and we all know where it is.
Bawling abuse at a footballer, calling them terrible names, isn’t a good look. But it probably, arguably, just about falls on the right side of the line.
Abusing that footballer’s family is a different matter. That’s on the wrong side of the line.
It’s bang out of order, and everyone guilty knows this.