He would never do this, of course, but he'd well within his rights if he did. As he saw those three flying beer cups, the 'V' signs and the contorted faces, Gareth Southgate would have had one word running through his mind: enough.
No man deserves this but, even by England's standards, the opprobrium raining down on Southgate was disgraceful. What kind of world is it where the result of a football match provides a vehicle for some to bawl and scream until their faces go puce at a man?
This, though, is England. Many supporters are respectful but in the last three years, there has been a rise in the oiks, those who think nothing about putting a pyrotechnic up their backside, sing a song about German bombers or chant repeatedly 'you're **** but your birds are fit' to Danish fans (Bakerloo Line; Wednesday, July 7, 2021).
People will say this is hysterical reaction but you are burying your head in the sand if you think this isn't the case. Find any square in a European city when England are in town and you will see them in front of you. Southgate, looking up into the stands, has seen them more than all of us.
The irony of all this, of course, is they think he doesn't care or doesn't recognise the team's failings. It's total nonsense. After a game such as the one against Slovenia, he will have been up into the early hours before waking at first light, usually to go for a run, trying to think of solutions.
England are playing miserably but logical reasons why this is happening - such as Jude Bellingham and Harry Kane both wanting to play as false nines and unrelenting calendar meaning that, physically, some players are at breaking point - won't be considered.
No. It's on Southgate, who is letting the country down. He's heard criticism such as this for the three years, since losing the last European Championship final, dealing with the accusations that he's too conservative and not getting the most out of his attacking players.
The mind is drawn back to an incident with Gary Lineker, shrinking violet that he is, two years ago ahead of two Nations League fixtures. His gripe back then was Trent Alexander-Arnold, exhausted after Liverpool's quadruple challenge, and Jack Grealish should be given more game time.
Before the first game, against Italy at Molineux, Southgate sat with a few of us reporters to conduct his usual preview. We were told by his media team he had 10 minutes but he ended up staying for 35 minutes, prepared to face all concerns - ours, not yours, Gary - that he was too cautious.
This what makes him different. He'll listen, whether he likes it or not, and answer you respectfully and honestly, while trying to explain the reasoning behind decisions. It makes him rare in modern football, where people want to exist in echo chambers, can't face criticism and eschew debate.
'They (pundits) are normally in a role where they are paid to give an opinion and that's what they have to do,' Southgate said that afternoon. 'They are giving an opinion as they see it, just as you guys do. That's part of the industry, isn't it?
'It is not nice when you are on the receiving end, of course not. But you file it, you use it to motivate yourself and understand it's part and parcel of being a manager. You want to build teams, take fans with you and make memories that are very special. That's part of the role.'
Then he added: 'I think that balance of the team to get to a semi-final and final has been pretty good. I've got to manage in the way I see fit. Don't get me wrong, I'm not reading it but I sense where the room is with it. I won't outstay my welcome.'
He won't. He's true to his word and the reaction in Cologne will have hurt him as much as invective that swirled around Molineux after Hungary beat England 4-0 in June 2022. Southgate loves leading England but, today, he finds himself in a stark position.
Should the campaign transform and lead all the way to a successful conclusion in Berlin, the players will get the credit. Lose on Sunday in Gelsenkirchen or anywhere else, it will be on him. He'll get no thanks for eight excellent years, just more flying beer cups. Why should he keep subjecting himself to that?